Lumani Unfiltered: The Day I Thought My Vagina Was Broken
Vol 1, Issue 1
Disclaimer: The following is based on personal experience and is not intended as medical advice. For any medical concerns, always consult a qualified healthcare professional.
Where to Start?
Have you ever felt like your body just turned against you? That’s exactly where I found myself last fall when I was convinced—no, certain—that my vagina was broken. I’m talking about 1,000 razor-sharp micro-cuts appearing out of nowhere, making everyday things like sitting, wearing pants, and even going to the bathroom unbearable. And sex? Forget it. My poor partner—absolutely off-limits. Even the idea of finding alternative ways to be intimate sent a wave of panic through my body, mostly because I had no clue what was happening.
After weeks of this torture, I finally decided to seek medical help. I called to make an appointment, only to be told I’d have to wait another four weeks. Four. More. Weeks. As if I wasn’t already feeling shredded from the inside out. No, that wasn’t going to work for me. So on a desperate Saturday afternoon, I marched myself into an urgent care clinic.
The Urgent Care Experience
(AKA, How Many Strangers Can I Tell About My Vagina in One Day?)
First step in urgent care? Repeating my deeply personal story to multiple strangers—three times, to be exact. Yes, I had to explain my entire gynecological and sexual history over and over again, all while mentally spiraling down a rabbit hole of self-doubt. Was something more sinister happening? Should I be worried about an STD? Even though I knew I hadn’t been with anyone else, the repeated questioning planted a seed of anxiety.
And then, just to make the whole experience even more mortifying, in walks the doctor—an objectively very attractive Jewish man—right before I have to spread my legs for a full screening. Awesome.
But here’s the kicker: 24 hours later, every single test came back negative. No infections. No STDs. No answers. And my symptoms? Still raging.
Six More Weeks of Hell (and Finally a Specialist)
Since urgent care led nowhere, I was finally able to get an appointment with a gynecologist. Cue another round of deeply personal questions (yes, again) and a new set of possibilities: maybe it was a vaginal form of dermatitis. Or, worst case, abnormal cells—meaning cancer.
Wait. What?
I’ve been in surgical menopause since I was 26 and have had severe endometriosis, pre-cancerous fibroids—you name it. But this? This was new. When the doctor suggested a biopsy, she gave me two options: schedule one for a later date, or do it right then and there. Given that I was already months into this nightmare, there was no way I was waiting any longer.
Biopsy Blues
(Or, The Worst Drive Home Ever)
I’m no stranger to medical procedures, but let me tell you—no one prepared me for how much a vaginal biopsy would hurt. And what did I do immediately afterward? Waddled out of that office alone and proceeded to drive myself home through an hour of Los Angeles traffic. I could barely sit in my seat. A+ planning on my part.
Diagnosis: Lichen Sclerosus (and a Deep Dive into Google-Induced Panic)
A week later, I got my results—not from my doctor, but via an email notification from my medical chart. Lichen Sclerosus.
Cue the frantic Googling. Some sources said it wasn’t cancer. Others said it could lead to cancer. Given my medical history, my mind was already spiraling. When my doctor finally called, she reassured me that I was fine, prescribed a steroid cream, and recommended follow-ups every three months to monitor for abnormal cells.
That’s when I realized something important:
No one had ever mentioned that this was a common issue in menopausal women.
That little tidbit? I had to figure out on my own.
Lessons Learned
(So You Don’t Have to Learn the Hard Way)
Advocate for Yourself
If I had waited for that first appointment, I would have been in agony for nine weeks before seeing a specialist. When something feels wrong, push for answers sooner rather than later.Lichen Sclerosus Is More Common Than You Think
According to studies, Lichen Sclerosus affects up to 3% of women, predominantly postmenopausal women. It’s a chronic condition, but with proper treatment, symptoms can be managed.Health Providers Need to Connect the Dots
My medical history was in my records, yet I still had to repeat myself multiple times. A more holistic approach—one that actually references prior history—could save patients from unnecessary fear and distress.Pain Management Matters
A biopsy isn’t minor. Patients should be informed about pain levels and post-procedure care. Research suggests that patients who receive adequate preparation for medical procedures experience lower levels of anxiety and pain.Your Diagnosis Is Not Your Death Sentence
Yes, Lichen Sclerosus can lead to complications, but early detection and consistent monitoring drastically reduce risks. Don’t let Google send you into a panic spiral.
So, What Now?
Now, I’m managing my symptoms, checking in with my doctor regularly, and making it my mission to talk about this stuff—because no one else is.
If you’ve been through something similar, know someone who has, or just want to be part of a community that keeps it real about healthcare, share this post and subscribe to Lumani Unfiltered. Because the more we talk, the less alone we all feel.
Until next time—stay curious, advocate for yourself, and never let a “broken vagina” keep you from living your life.
