Not in Your Head: Megan’s Endometriosis and 5 Ways to Stop Medical Gaslighting
Vol 1, Issue 10
Disclaimer: All experiences and opinions shared here are personal and should not be taken as professional medical, mental health, or financial advice. For decisions related to healthcare, medication coverage, or insurance appeals, always consult a licensed healthcare professional and carefully review your specific insurance policy.
My “Aha” Moment About Medical Gaslighting
Not long ago, I realized just how powerful a simple seven-word phrase could be:
“I want a second opinion on this.”
It’s direct, straightforward, and can stop even the most dismissive provider in their tracks. Yet so many of us hesitate to say it, worried we’ll look rude or difficult. I’ve been there myself—despite years as a nurse exec, patient advocate, and (I’d like to think) savvy healthcare navigator, I’ve had moments where I left the doctor’s office questioning my own sanity.
That’s the essence of medical gaslighting: you raise a legitimate concern, and a healthcare professional (or sometimes an insurance rep) waves it off as “probably just stress” or “no big deal.” It’s not just insulting—it’s potentially dangerous, because real medical problems can go undiagnosed for months or even years, all while you’re doubting yourself.
A Look Behind the Curtain: Megan’s Endometriosis Journey
A few months back, I got a call from Megan, a 27-year-old social media manager who’d been battling crippling pelvic pain and agonizing cramps. She saw multiple doctors, each concluding, “It’s probably just stress,” or,
“Try yoga and see if that helps.” (Yoga is wonderful, but it’s hardly a magic cure for severe, ongoing pain.)
Megan felt heard but not heard. Whenever she described her symptoms, doctors gave sympathetic nods but no real follow-up, almost like they didn’t fully believe her. Eventually, she reached out to me in desperation. I encouraged her to push for specialized tests—an ultrasound, a gynecological consult, the works. And once she finally found a doctor willing to do those tests, the answer became clear: endometriosis.
The fallout? She felt relief (that it wasn’t in her head) and anger (that it had taken so long for someone to care enough to dig deeper). Now Megan has a real treatment plan, but only after months of feeling brushed off.
“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”
—Maya Angelou
By refusing to accept a dismissive “It’s probably just stress,” Megan essentially spoke up for all of us who’ve been told our concerns don’t matter. Her fight for answers wasn’t just about her own well-being; it’s a reminder that self-advocacy is a powerful force for collective change.
Why This Hits Home for So Many
If you’ve ever walked out of a medical visit questioning your own judgment—wondering if you’re “making a big deal out of nothing”—you know how deeply this can rattle you. It’s not just an emotional blow; it can be physically risky, too. Untreated conditions can spiral into bigger issues, and the longer you go without a proper diagnosis, the harder it becomes to fix.
It’s part of why Lumani Health exists: I don’t want anyone getting lost in a maze of conflicting opinions, contradictory insurance policies, or doctors who assume you’re overreacting. My goal is to empower you with the knowledge and strategies to push back—and to use your voice to demand real answers. On top of that, a portion of every Lumani program supports youth mental health initiatives, because if adults are being dismissed, young people often face even more obstacles.
5 Strategies to Combat Medical Gaslighting
Track Your Symptoms Like a Detective
Why It’s Important: Documenting dates, times, and the exact nature of your discomfort makes it harder for anyone to dismiss. Your timeline is proof you’re not just imagining things.
Pro Tip: Keep it simple. Bullet points in your phone’s notes app work fine—just log pain levels, potential triggers, and any key observations. Patterns might emerge that command attention.“I Want a Second Opinion on This.”
Why It’s Important: These seven words can change the whole conversation. It signals you’re not satisfied with a lukewarm response—and that you value your health enough to seek more than one perspective.
Pro Tip: If your provider gets defensive or tries to dissuade you, see that as a red flag. You deserve care from someone who respects your right to further evaluation.Ask for Concrete Explanations
Why It’s Important: Vague answers like “It’s just stress” don’t help if you suspect something deeper. When you ask, “How did you rule out other conditions?” you force a more thorough discussion.
Pro Tip: Questions like “Which tests specifically confirmed this diagnosis?” or “Can you walk me through your thought process?” can reveal if they’re truly listening or just handing you boilerplate advice.Bring a Healthcare Ally
Why It’s Important: Two sets of ears are better than one—especially if you’re tired, in pain, or emotional. A friend or family member can help steer the conversation back to your main concerns.
Pro Tip: Give your ally a quick heads-up about the questions you want answered. If you get flustered or talked over, they can jump in with, “Megan’s main concern is her recurring pain—can we go back to that?”Trust Your Gut—Seriously
Why It’s Important: Medical gaslighting thrives on self-doubt. If your gut says, “This is not normal,” you have every right to pursue more tests, different opinions, or specialized care.
Pro Tip: If you find yourself apologizing—“I’m sorry if I’m overreacting”—stop. You’re advocating for your well-being, and that’s never an overreaction.
Keep the Conversation Going
Want More Straight Talk?
I share weekly on Substack—sometimes in-depth articles like this, sometimes quick-hit tips. It’s your behind-the-scenes guide to healthcare survival, from challenging strange insurance denials to dealing with dismissive docs.
Masterclass & Workbook In the Works
My pre-recorded masterclass plus a workbook to help you tackle the healthcare maze step by step is coming soon. I’ll cover everything from writing that bulletproof symptom log to appealing insurance denials. A portion of each sale will fund youth mental health services. Limited earlybird pre-release special starting in May!
VIP Circle Waitlist
If you’d like an intimate space for real-time Q&A, success stories, and maybe a little venting over a virtual cup of coffee, you’ll love our upcoming VIP Circle. Even better? 15% of every membership supports mental health care for young people who need it. Join the waitlist now.
Stay curious, and keep advocating for yourself. You know your body better than anyone—if something feels off, push for answers until you get them. Medical gaslighting only thrives when we shrink back. Let’s keep the conversations open, the paperwork in order, and our voices turned all the way up. Because you deserve to be heard, and ultimately, you deserve the best care possible.
